FUN WITH COVERS: IN THE HAND OF THE GODDESS

I love that the Random House covers always tried to make Alanna a little ~sexay, even though she's supposed to be passing as a dude.  Here they do this by adding eye shadow, a leather mini skirt, and what seem to be orange water wings.  Hot.

Psycho!Alanna appears again and knows exactly what you just said about her.  Just back away, kids.  Back slowwwwly away.

 I have nothing bad to say about this cover, shockingly enough.  It's simple but well-done, the colours and fonts work well, and the whole piece has a tense, expectant feel that makes the book seem a lot more exciting than it ultimately proves to be.  I also really enjoy that Alanna's gripping the ember-stone.  It's a nice detail.  A+, whoever made this.

AND THEN THERE'S THIS.  Alanna is dressed for Jazzercise and fighting a dude who I think is supposed to be Roger.  (Remember that climactic fight they had in his workroom?  No?  Me neither.)  She seems to have either a mullet or a single poorly-placed pigtail.  Also, check that tagline!  "She would fight to the death to save her prince!"  That is what these books are actually about, everyone: sacrificing yourself for your man.

Ghostly lady hands seem to be a recurring motif in these covers.  Alanna looks like an anguished homosexual gentleman from the fifties.

And, finally, the most recent cover.  Alanna is once again striking a sexy teen pose, while Moonlight has clearly decided that brunettes have more fun.

FUN WITH COVERS: ALANNA: THE FIRST ADVENTURE

Alanna appears to be in the Colusseum.  Her shirt reminds me of the part of Anne of Green Gables where Anne gets near-homicidal over those goddamn puffed sleeves.

One of the special edition covers.  My favourite thing about this one is Alanna's hat, not only because it makes her look like Allan a Dale but because the button has an 'a' on it.  You know, just in case she forgets her name.

Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn defeat the Ysandir, keep frogs in their pockets.

This... well, this is one of the most unsettling things I've seen in a long time.  Alanna looks like a cross between Billy Corgan with pink eye and one of the Children of the Damned.  Does she lack the capacity to love?  Will this kid send you to the cornfield if you think bad thoughts?  Do we really want to give her access to weapons???

In which Alanna and Jon both look like Swedish lesbians.

 I love this one because it feels like the artist just kind of gave up.  "So this is a book about a magical crossdressing chick with purple eyes who fights demons?  What is the least ridiculous thing I can- you know what?  Fuck it.  I'll draw a sword."

This is either a legit French cover or some bullshit someone made on the Internet.  Due to the art style, it looks less like a book and more like Final Fantasy XXVVVIII: Here's A Goddamn Castle.

 Again, this is the cover currently gracing my local book store.  Note the blingee font again, and the fact that they tried to sex up a probably-eleven-year-old Alanna.  Sadly MIA: capsleeves, love triangle.

FUN WITH COVERS: THE WOMAN WHO RIDES LIKE A MAN

(Because Elliott is chronically unable to adhere to deadlines and feels intensely guilty about it, welcome to a brand new feature of Song of the Daffodil: Fun With Covers!)

This was the cover I grew up with, and honestly, from a purely nostalgic standpoint, I think it still looks awesome.  From a standpoint of a person who has eyes and uses them for seeing, I think that little yellow marquee makes it look as though The Woman Who Rides Like A Man is a new Broadway musical featuring songs by Elton John.

A more recent reprint, in which Farrah Fawcett waves are apparently the biggest trend to hit the Great Southern Desert.

An older cover in which everything looks very Lawrence of Arabia and Moonlight seems to have gone for a dye job.

Yet another old one.  Faithful is the size of a large dog, and Moonlight has once again been to the salon.  So has Alanna, judging by her mom hair.  Dude in the background is like, "Comb that shit out and reset it, girl."

Alanna just got back from a Barbarella audition, for which she borrowed Moonlight's leg warmers.  Not pictured: Faithful.  Definitely pictured: Hilarity.

 This is the edition currently for sale at the local bookstore, and every time I see it I start cackling gleefully.  Alanna has capsleeves and wears low-rise jeans!  The ember-stone is a pretty green necklace!  Jon and George are doing their best Edward and Jacob impressions in the background!  And the text looks like someone tried to make a blingee and the screen froze.  Favourite cover of all time.